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1. Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by
communicating solely by email, then look for odd behavior or inconsistencies.
The person at the other end may not be who or what he says he is. Trust your
instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your safety and
protection.
2. Make sure all contact on a member site takes place through a double-blind
system, ensuring your true identity is protected until you decide to reveal it.
Never include your last name, home address, phone number, place of employment,
email address or any other identifying information in your profile or initial
messages. When corresponding with someone, turn off your email signature file.
Stop communicating with anyone who puts pressure on you for personal information
or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.
3. Cautious decisions will result in a better dating experience. Be sure to
protect yourself against trusting the untrustworthy; potential boyfriends must
earn your trust gradually over time, through consistently honorable,
straightforward behavior. Take all the time you need to investigate for a
straightforward person and pay careful attention along the way. If you suspect
someone is lying, he probably is, so act accordingly. Be responsible about
romance, your heart will thank you. Don?t become prematurely intimate with
someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online. If you mutually decide to
cross the point of no return, be smart and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention (http://www.cdc.gov/) provide some of the most current
information available about sexually transmitted diseases and preserving your
health.
4. Most online dating services do not require members to submit to background
checks. So make sure you get as much info as possible by asking questions,
utilizing internet search engines and most importantly, using common sense.
Nothing is 100% reliable, just remember to use your head...not just your
heart.
5. A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may
prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact, it?s best to view several
images of someone in various settings... casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If
all you hear are excuses about why you can't see a photo, consider that he has
something to hide.
6. A phone call can reveal much about a person?s communication and social
skills. Consider your security and do not reveal your phone number to a
stranger. Try a cell phone number instead or use local telephone blocking
techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing on a Caller ID. Give out
your phone number ONLY when you feel completely comfortable.
7. The beauty of meeting someone online is that you can collect information
gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline
world. You never are obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level on
online intimacy. And even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have
the right to change your mind. It?s possible that your decision to keep the
relationship anonymous is based on a hunch that you can't logically explain.
Trust yourself. Go with your instincts.
8. Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to
pressure or control you. Acting in a passive...aggressive manner, making
demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are
all red flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the
following behavior without providing an acceptable explanation: Provides
inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status,
profession, employment, etc. Refuses to speak to you on the phone after
establishing ongoing, online intimacy. Fails to provide direct answers to direct
questions. Appears significantly different in person from his or her online
persona. Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family
members.
9. When you choose to meet offline, always tell friends where you are going
and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number with a
friend. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own
transportation, meet in a public place at a time with many people around (a
familiar restaurant or coffee house is often a good choice), and when the date
is over, leave on your own as well. Refrain from drinking excessively, as it
could weaken your ability to make good decisions. If at some point you and your
date decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is
right thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.
10. If you plan to fly in from another city, arrange for your own car and
hotel room. Do not make known the name of your hotel and never allow your date
to make arrangements for you. Get a rental car at the airport and drive directly
to your hotel. Always call your date from the hotel. You can also check out the
location you both agreed to meet at ahead of time to see exactly where it is and
to get more familiar with an area . If the location seems inappropriate or
unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date at that location or
leave a message on an answering machine. Always make sure a friend or family
member knows your plans and has your contact information. And carry a cell phone
at all times.
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid of your
date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there.
Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the
scene for help or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in
danger, call the police; it's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry
or feel embarrassed about your behavior; your safety is much more important than
one person?s opinion of you.
While cheaters, liars and frauds certainly can be very convincing on the Web,
you'll also find them in nightclubs and offline dating services, parties or even
sitting across from you at your local coffee house. Despite where you meet
someone, dating is never risk-free, but a little caution will reduce your risk
to your safety when trying to find that certain someone for your heart.
and The
SafeGuard System for Kids.
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